I have a Volkswagen. Technically, I have two Volkswagens. A 2007 GTI of which I am very fond and a 1978 Beetle convertible. There’s a long history with the ‘78 and despite our differences from time to time, it’s a relationship I find near impossible to sever. My parents have been very kind in minding it when I’ve been living in the UK and now that I’m living in CA, we all thought it was time I came and fetched it. I looked online and called a bunch of people to see about having it transported out here. Estimates were in the $1,000+ range for having someone put it on a lorry and bring it out. Estimates were also very expensive for getting a car trailer and towing it myself. So, I made the decision to drive it all the way out to CA from MA. I know it was a bit of a gutsy move driving a potentially unreliable 30 year old car 3,000 miles in a short period of time, but I’m only young once and I have (near) absolute faith in the bug. Between ms. mosephine and I, we managed to figure out a way to time the trip in such a way to visit with a bunch of people and also spend Easter with my family (I think my mum liked that a lot). This plan, sadly, involved ms. mosephine and I to walk different paths and only briefly intersecting at Easter. She would not be accompanying me on the trip out to CA.
I started out on the Monday afternoon and went from Boston to Western MA where I met up with a longtime friend of mine who I consider a brother. I absolutely had to meet his new baby and spend some time catching up. I’m going to throw in a gratuitous pitch here, and, in case you’re curious, I have no shame in doing so. His band, The Aeon Saga, are doing well and really starting to make a name for themselves. If you’re a fan of metal, you should check them out. Speaking of metal bands you might like, also check out my cousin’s band, Desiccation. They’ve won some high school battle of the bands thing with a Boston radio station and are getting some good press. Right, shout outs are now down, the story may continue.
Got on the road properly after a nice breakfast and a good chat. I do realise that Boston to Northampton, MA does not a long trip make, but I really wanted to test the waters with the bug before I committed to a long haul across the US. There were other rules. No massive burns on speed. Yes, the car can cruise well at 70-75, but it’s more likely that something will go wrong so I was doing my best to keep it sub 70. Anyway, it didn’t take me long to get to New York.
New York was a pretty drive and one thing of particular note that I saw was the 4-truck orgy driving along at great speed.

I though about stopping at Niagara Falls when I passed through Buffalo, but ms. mosephine has not seen them as well, so I wanted to go with her as well. I know it’s a bit soppy, but there are just some things better done with company. Shortly after passing up that opportunity, Pennsylvania was welcoming me. This may sound insulting to those of you fond of Northern PA, but I didn’t really see anything terribly fascinating traveling through, so we move swiftly forward to Ohio, which, apparently, has so much to discover.
I had not been to Ohio before so I quickly discovered that it was raining in Ohio. I managed to get to just South of Cleveland before I called it quits for the night. “South?” you might ask, “but aren’t you going West?” Yes, that’s right, I am going West, but there was a small detour (adding 200 miles to my 3000 mile trek, but never-ye-mind). This diversion brought me to Kentucky
“Kentucky? What’s worth the diversion to Kentucky” I hear your elitist fake-America latte-drinking socialist bourgeois filth utter. Oh ho ho. What indeed…

I really felt like I absolutely must stop and see this and a pitiful extra 200 miles was not a deterrent. I figured at the very least, it would be a fun little excursion. Sadly, because I had to absolutely be sure to leave some disaster time in the remainder of my travels, I couldn’t devote too much to time this sojourn in KY.
And now for a section I like to call:
The Creation Museum (or, a lesson in self-restraint)
I would like to make this really very clear from the start. I did not go there to make fun of the people there or belittle their beliefs. I did anticipate the likely prospect of getting thrown out, but I wasn’t going to go out of my way. Taking that picture had already caused a small exchange of bad looks. Someone in a rather large pickup was coming out of the gate just after I had finished taking the picture and was crossing the road back. He’d got out into the road and then spotted me and backed up again just to glare at me for a while before driving off again. I think it was only when he’d worked out that I was intending on going in that he’d let me off the hook. So I drove in and parked up. The car already got some funny looks and when I emerged, I certainly had the worried looks from good little Christian children and their parents alike. The Hell-bringer has cometh.
So, I arrived and I would like to say that the people staffing the place were really friendly and very few of them even seemed to bat an eyelash at me. It’s always comforting to see people at places more likely to breed the exclusion-type behaviour being really rather friendly and accepting of others differing walks of life. Some of the other patrons were a little less so, but that’s their business.
After I had sorted out my ticket and what my plan was for seeing the exhibits, I really had to use the loo. I mention this only because I think I had inadvertently managed to terrify a boy with my looking exactly like (what later I would see as an exhibit) was the “ideal” of the pits of society. There was definitely some interchange with his mother about me complete with pointing and the likes. He honestly looked terrified. Moving on.
Their opening exhibit was one of an paleontological dig.

The chap on the the left sporting the orange and rather fetching white beard was apparently a Creationist Paleontologist… his counterpart, a Carbon-Dating Conspiratorialist. The exhibit was a slow introduction to the various straw-men and conflated arguments that would become more extraordinary as one progressed through the museum. Like any good argument, the first step is to convince people that you are being reasonable. It’s much easier to accept things far from reach if one can be convinced to accept the steps along the way. The argument is this: The difference between these two professional gentlemen is their starting points. The guy on the right started from the viewpoint that millions of years ago, there were dinosaurs and then some event or series of events lead to their extinction and were are left with fossil records that were created in such a manner. The Creationist comes from the starting point that the dinosaurs co-existed with man before the Great Flood and that event cause their extinction and buried their bodies under as the waters receded, protecting them against scavengers and so on while their flesh decomposed, leaving us with decent fossils. Their argument sets up the rest of the museum because you are presented with this argument in such a way that it is possible to see this and say, “that’s entirely reasonable… they are just looking at the same record and developing differing thoughts based on perspective. The creationist perspective is equal to the evolutionary perspective in terms of scientific credibility.”

Throughout the next section, there were a lot of “Human Reason vs. God’s Word” illustrations. The whole idea is really to set up the seeds of acceptance that the Creationist perspective is a valid scientific theory because from a certain perspective there is a logical series of events that is not impossible. Around the corner, they really kicked off the Christian proselytising with life-sized likenesses of religious figures.

This section mostly dealt with the history of society coming to question the word of God and also a criticism of various religious sects on appeasing the philosophical questionings of the word of God. This acceptance of the societal questioning of the Christian way is obviously the reason that society is now filled with, apparently, people like me and worse!

Somehow, we’ve grown into a society that can accept that only 1 in 4 (i believe that was the number they pulled out) of teens that attended church continue to do so after they leave home. It is also why in England 0.5% of the population will be continuing to attend church in only a few years’ time. As we all know, church-going is the only possible indication that people are going to be good people. What does this all have to do with Creationism? Well, by an ever-growing culture of question Christianity, we no longer can accept that Christianity may have the answers to tough biological, geological and chemical questions.
After that came a room filled with video displays

Each of the displays showed some biological event and was explaining how the inability of science to fully explain and recreate some detail of this biological wonder was proof of the existence and power of the Almighty. One really stuck out to me, so I shall use it as example of what really summed this whole affair up to me. The eye. So miraculous is the eye that the finest of cameras cannot replicate its elegance and function. Self-cleaning. Self-lubricating. Converts light to electrical impulses that our magnificent and wondrous grey-matter process the images. And, can be constructed in the womb… Therefore, the only possible creator of this most magnificent object is the Lord Almighty. Each eye is lovingly hand-crafted by the Lord and can be yours from this very special TV offer for only $19.99 plus shipping and handling. This, like the other propositions in this room is filled with minor distortions of reality and then using the distortion as proof of, as they see it, the only logical other conclusion. The eye itself: It is not self-cleaning nor self-lubricating. That is the job of the tear ducts. Without them, a separate system with a clear function, the eye would be neither clean nor lubricated. Also, converting light to electronic impulses is exactly what the CCD in the digital camera with which I was taking all these pictures does. I admit, however, that I’m pretty certain that Canon does not make use of wombs in making their cameras, so they got me on that one, but I’m not really sure I’d by a “womb-spawned” digital camera. Eyes are formed during gestation because of genetic material indicating that’s how a cell should behave. Another panel tries to demonstrate that DNA is impossible to have been created by any other means than an Intelligent Designer by using conflated analogies to the development of language. (Everyone spoke the same language until God punished them for the Tower thing when he “confused” their language so no one working on it could communicate with each other). So, even if DNA was the instruction for the behaviour of the cell, God wrote the DNA.
…and Adam and Eve co-existed with the dinosaurs.

Then we had the room of horrors.



They also made a big deal of the Great Flood as the massive global event that could explain things that science apparently can only explain by a massive global event. Like a flood. Now, my thing on this is pretty simple. Science may only be able to explain certain occurrences by a massive global event, but that does not equate to the existence of a God or Gods because it lends credibility to a section of a book. Way back in the day, humans created mythologies to explain the unexplainable. I remember as a child… “Why does it rain” “God is sad and he is crying. When he is happy, the sun will shine.” That is how mythology is created. Because science turns around and says “ah yes, the plants need rain and sun to grow strong” doesn’t mean that suddenly the mythology is correct. Making the case that way is called a straw man…
Anyway, there was a whole lot more that they conflated and distorted. It was not all like that though. One panel stuck out in particular:

“We’re All One Blood”
I think that’s a pretty good message. Onwards.
Mostly, there was little of outstanding interest along the way through Indiana and Illinois. I did go through Champaign, Il, hometown to a good friend and I was kind of curious about where he came from. Curious indeed. Driving across Nebraska was terrible. It was very windy and because it was a hideous cross-wind, I couldn’t even use the lorries as cover very well. Getting to Wyoming was a god-send… but… wait

oh… and then

A blizzard. Great. I got to Laramie, WY and they’d already closed the Eastbound road. My windscreen wipers had disintegrated so I had to find a place to get some more. Apparently, the local newspaper guy had seen it sitting their collecting snow and thought it was a great picture. So, I think my car will be in the Laramie Boomerang. Enjoy guys, enjoy. I made it out before they could close the roads on me and got to Rawlins, WY where the weather was better. I passed an upturned lorry the next day
The rest of Wyoming was beautiful and uneventful. And Utah was pretty good too. Driving out of Salt Lake City was interesting for about the first 10 minutes. Then it was just hellish. but it ended… eventually.

By the time I got to Reno, NV, I was so desperate to get home that I decided I would just push through the mountains and do the 4 hours or so that I had to go. The road down to Sacramento from the peak Sierra Nevada pass is super fun. In the dark. Yeah. Also, the bug hit a momentous occasion on the travels:

Apart from someone nearly running into the back of me in Vallejo, the trip was fine. A little spot of engine trouble from Sacramento, but I’m ok with that. I think it’s minor troubles with this crappy distributor I put in last spring and I shall be swapping it out soon. That is all.